Friday, May 16, 2014

My Battle with Depression

I have wanted to write this post for so long and yet I wasn't sure if I wanted to. I am not an expert on the matter, I'm just telling my story in the hopes someone might benefit from it. 

Image from Rookie

It all happened last year, on February-March. I had to take a morning-after pill due to forgetting one of my usual contraception pills (I know, TMI), and something they don't tell you is that apparently a very high dose of hormones can have two effects on you (not including contraceptive of course):

  • No effect at all
  • Physical effects related to your period
  • A massive depression!
It's not a very common effect though, since I had to ask for second opinions and the first doctor didn't even acknowledge that this could be possible.

What did I feel then? The effects appeared 2 weeks after I took the pill, when it was my time of the month (TMI x2). I had terrible anxiety (something I had never experienced previously), I just felt indifferent to whatever happened around me. Like I wasn't able to feel a thing anymore.
I also avoided human contact at all costs, something that I've always loved. This of course took a lot of getting used to by my boyfriend (more on that later).

I was then prescribed some vitamins by my family doctor, that are the lowest dosage possible in order to battle a slight sense of sadness. They had no effect on me.

After that (July), I went to a psychiatrist who prescribed me Mirtazapine starting on a dosage of 15 mg for a couple of months and then in September my dosage was increased to 30 mg. Mirtazapine is a combined anxiety and depression medication, and it has had these effects on me:
  1. Weight gain - 8 kg approximately (17 pounds)
  2. Massive somnolence - I take it once a day before I go to sleep and the effects go well into midday of the day after that. This also means that I've overslept very frequently!
  3. Dry mouth - if you chew on the pill like they recommend, you get a very dry mouth. However, I've found that swallowing with a glass of water prevents this.
(These are very common effects, apparently.)

My family has had different opinions on the matter. I love my father, and yet he couldn't understand the feelings I was experiencing and the type of depression I had. He isn't one to talk about feelings, so I couldn't unwind with him that much.
My mother on the other hand, really supported me and she pushed me -a bit too much- to talk to different doctors, when I just wanted to stay in bed.

In terms of friends, I must say it really shows who is there to help you and who isn't, and I guess in that sense it's something positive. On the other hand, my boyfriend has been by my side during the whole process, but I have to admit this year has been the worst of my life and that definitely took a toll on us! I'm so grateful that he has been with me -weathering the storm-, but at the same time I really felt like I had the blame because I wasn't able to be as loving or affectionate as before.

Another problem is that you may disappoint yourself quite frequently. You may feel better one day and extremely worse the next, and you are surely getting your hopes up every time you don't feel a crushing sensation on your chest. 
In the end, you have to know that suffering from depression is not your fault at all and if you aren't well tomorrow that doesn't mean that you won't get to feel like yourself ever again!

At the moment, I am lowering my dosage (a week ago I had to take 15 mg a day) to 15 mg every other day, until the 15th of June - when I will be drug and depression-free!
You guys, I thought I would never be able to feel like this again! There's a light at the end of the tunnel, I assure you. You might have depression because of other reasons or maybe you don't have depression at all, but you surely know or have known someone that has. 

Friends are the best way to fight depression!

I hope this can be of any help to anyone out there experiencing depression and you can reach me on my e-mail whenever you need to!

Thank you for listening <3

Friday, May 9, 2014

The Etsy Feature: Jewellery

I have an obsession: online shopping

I know I'm not alone in this, and I've recently tried to cut back because I need to save some money
(I'm going next year to Vienna - more on that soon!)
However, I wanted to feature some beautiful jewellery pieces that I had purchased on Etsy (which is by far one of the coolest sites to purchase hand made and personalized objects from)*


Thin Jade Resin Ring; Thin Honeysuckle Resin Ring

I've been loving resin rings and I just couldn't decide between all of the colours available. I've purchased mine from two different stores.

My first ring was the (thin) Honeysuckle Pink Resin Ring (size 5.5 - a bit roomy but doesn't fall off my finger). This is a clear pink ring with gold foil in the inside, which is what makes the ring an all-events appropriate jewellery. Price (wo/shipping): 34,31€ SHOP (unfortunately this exact ring is not available anymore)

The second ring is the (thin) Jade Resin Ring (size 5 - perfect fit!): it's a milky mint resin ring with some gold coming through. You can't see the gold as clearly as with the Honeysuckle one, but it peeks here and there, which I find is very cute too. Plus, it's the perfect summer colour and it really goes with anything! Price (wo/shipping): 24,66€ HERE 


I've never been the necklace kind of gal, but I decided I wanted this garland necklace because it is dainty, and yet makes a statement. I've gotten a lot of compliments on it, even from guy friends (which makes it even more valuable, because men usually don't notice this kind of things!)

The garland made of brass with a gold filled chain. I really really like how it looks on, and I can wear it with anything which is always a plus! Price (wo/shipping): 28,52€ HERE
However I find brass is quite a b*$!# to clean, and it's already getting a bit dark around the edges which makes me quite angry, really. If you guys have any recommendations on how to clean brass, please hit me up! 

Have you ever bought anything on Etsy? Any jewellery shops that you can recommend (independent, preferably)? Are you as obsessed with online shopping as I am?


*I have not been sponsored by any of the shops, I only wanted to express my honest opinion!

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Skin Saviours!

Perfect skin is one of those things that everyone wants, I definitely can't claim that I have it, but I do have some great products that are perfect to achieve it!

These are great if you have combination skin

Avène Cleanance Moisturizer: I love Avène, it's one of my favourite brands! This product is one of my most recent acquisitions and I'm in love. It's a very light moisturizer with a gel consistency, but it does not mattify (a.k.a dry out my skin once it has set in). - 15€

Garnier Essencials Makeup Remover: it's a very light makeup remover that you can use for your eyes and lips too! It works like a dream and smells great. It's also very inexpensive, less than 5€.

The BodyShop Tea Tree Squeaky Clean Scrub: a great exfoliator that smells amazing. When I feel tired and scruffy, I use this to feel clean and new again! (Don't forget to moisturize though!) - 9€

Clinique 7-day Scrub Cream: a great creamy product with exfoliating particles! It's quite expensive in comparison with the BodyShop one, but you need less product to exfoliate your face. - 31.50€

Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque: an award-winning mud mask that really makes you feel like it's extracting all the gunk from your pores (gross, I know!) I usually put it on my spots, instead of on the whole face. I purchased it on eBay for 7.60€!

What are your favourite skincare products? Any moisturizer recommendations?


Saturday, May 3, 2014

Quote of the day

I've been swamped with college work, but I'm preparing really cool posts for next week. Bear with me for a while and for now, here you have my Quote of the day!

-Mae West

<3 I wish you guys a great weekend!